Told You So by Mayci Neeley
Told You So is a new memoir by Mayci Neeley. If you’re not familiar with Mayci, she’s a social media personality known for Momtok as well as the Hulu show The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. I haven’t watched Season 2 yet, but Mayci was one of my favorite cast members in Season 1. I was excited when Netgalley invited me to read an early review copy of Told You So by Mayci Neeley. So make sure you keep reading for all of my thoughts!
And if you enjoy biographies/memoirs, you can check out some of my other memoir reviews here.
Who are the current members of Momtok?
Taylor Frankie Paul, Whitney Leavitt, Mayci J Neeley, Mikayla Matthews, Jennifer Affleck, Demi Engemann, Jessi Ngatikaura, Layla Taylor, and Miranda McWhorter.
What is Told You So by Mayci Neeley About?
From TikTok and The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star Mayci Neeley, a deeply personal story of love, grief, motherhood, and resilience.
Mayci Neeley and the women of MomTok burst into the center of pop culture when Hulu’s The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives took the world by storm. But the show barely scratched the surface of Mayci’s personal story. From becoming a mom at twenty, to losing her son’s father in a tragic car accident, to going back to college as a single mother, she’s only ever given us glimpses of the challenging things she’s been through. Now, finally, she’s ready to tell us everything.
In this inspiring and darkly funny memoir, Mayci lifts the veil for readers on what growing up Mormon is really like and how it’s strict standards completely blow up for many young people when they get to college. When Mayci arrived at BYU on a tennis scholarship, she was unprepared to manage the temptations she’d been taught were sins. She found herself drinking too much, stuck in an abusive relationship, and on the verge of falling down a dark and dangerous path. Suddenly, she was pregnant at nineteen and mourning a boyfriend she’d been building a future with. Mayci captures the period from college to adulthood with brutal honesty, grace, and humor, offering up a heartfelt portrait of a woman finding her voice and her strength.
All of these trials led to her current love story, her journey with IVF, and of course the inside story of MomTok. Fans looking for a juicy play-by-play on the friend group drama will get everything they want—and then some—but more than anything, readers will walk away with a sense of confidence in themselves and an ability to wear their scars proudly. (from Amazon.com)
My Initial Thoughts
One of the reasons I was interested in reading Mayci’s memoir was to learn more about Mormon upbringing. I find Mormon culture very fascinating because of how controlling the environment is and how much pressure that puts on people. I found Mayci’s story to fit what I’ve learned so far.
For instance, I read Heather Gay’s memoir a couple of years ago and I read Shari Franke’s book last year. All of these stories are the same in that there is so much pressure put on young women to behave and act a certain way. And yet, there is no support for them when they don’t do exactly what is expected of them.
Mayci’s story is a little different in that she was trained from a very young age to be a tennis star. So while she did things like go to church dances and hang out with boys, she was also constantly practicing and going to tennis tournaments. She comes from a tennis family so this was very important to them.
Mayci’s Story is Not What I Expected
To be honest, I don’t really know what I expected. But it wasn’t this.
A big part of her early college experience is shaped by a terrible boyfriend she had, who she refers to as Dick. He was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to Mayci. And the stories she tells about him are truly terrifying. I can’t even imagine how scary it must have been to go through that. It must have been heartbreaking for her parents who really wanted her to get away from him, but she wouldn’t/couldn’t.
She’s incredibly brave for sharing that story with the world and I think that young women of any religion will read her story and find inspiration/hope from it. And if someone is going through a similar situation, I hope it helps them to keep going.
I Don’t Know What I’m Supposed to Feel From This Book
And then when she finally found a boyfriend who she loved and trusted, things still weren’t good. She was drinking heavily and constantly breaking the BYU honor code. In their early dating days she finds out that his ex girlfriend is pregnant and she’s fine with it. She continues to date him and eventually finds herself pregnant with his child. And then tragedy strikes and her life is changed forever. (This isn’t really a spoiler… she’s talked about the situation on the show and online before).
She never actually addresses how the father of her child is basically a walking red flag. So I don’t know if she knows? It’s confusing. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel from this book because she just plainly tells her story and doesn’t give it a positive or a negative spin.
Maybe it’s neutral.
I’m Not Going to Judge Someone’s Experiences
In my opinion there were a lot of bad choices made in this book. But I’m not going to judge. We are all human and none of us were perfect in our early twenties. Heck, I know I dated some real red flags when I was younger. It’s just a part of growing up and figuring out who you are.
Mayci is Incredibly Fortunate
I believe she knows this already, but Mayci is incredibly fortunate to have such a supportive family. It was nice how even though her parents were angry about her getting pregnant, they supported her. They helped her come up with a plan. She is so blessed to have her Mom move with her to babysit her son for her while she finished college.
In Conclusion
It was interesting to learn more about Mayci. I know she shares a lot on tiktok but I’m not on that app. She had an incredibly eventful few years. It’s nice to see how she’s come out on the other side and is living a life she loves.
Personally, I don’t relate to her or find her story inspiring, because I’m living a completely different kind of life. But I think a lot of young women will. It’s important for abusive relationships to be talked about. This helps women understand that they are not alone and it is not their fault.
I’m also glad that more Mormon stories are being told. The whole honor code thing at BYU is horrifying to me, as is the religion in general. As I read this stories, I am hopeful that these women who continue to stay in the religion are doing so because they want to, and not because they feel like they have to.
